WHAT THE F*@!???
MS. Amanda-Jayne and I spent some de-lovely time together today. We went for lunch at a quaint Chinese restaurant and then went for a bit of caffeine at the coffee-shop...FUN HAD BY ALL!!!
So then, she's like..."let me take you to the cemetary"...I'm thinking...'WHAT THE FUCK???'...I'm a bit skeered at this point!!! I know she's FREAKKY but...'What the Fuck???!!!'...What could it all mean???
"I have an extra credit project there"...she said.
I'm like...'OH MY GAWD...this can't be it...this can't be my time...WHAT THE FUCK???'...Through her persuasive charms and HOTTT looks, I cave...I'M WEAK!!! I agree to go!!!
"It's actually not far from where we are right now"...she says.
'Oh Fuck...the end is near!!!' We drive...about 4 miles west...to an abandoned cemetary...in the middle of the woods!!! 'SHIT'...I'm sweatin' like a roasting pig!!!
"Can we go home???"...I say.
"Oh no...it'll be fun...I PROMISE!!!"
'Mmmhmmm...yeah sure!!!'
"Come on silly...I want to show you my project"
'OHMYGAWD...here it comes...this is it...she's gonna go Norman Bates on my azz and crush my skull in with the shovel she's got stashed in her trunk and then bury my azz six-feet under...SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE TO THE WORLD...I HAVE SO MANY GUYS TO LUST AFTER AND SLEEP WITH...IF I COULD JUST HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE I PROMISE TO BE A GOOD BOI'!!!
"Here it is hun."
"BACK THE FUCK UP BITCH!!!...I AINT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!...COME ON."
"What?...What are you talking about???...I want to show you the flowers I planted for extra credit...I had to do it to help beautify this run-down cemetary."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE???...WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, YOU CAME OUT HERE TO SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING FLOWERBED???...SHUTUP!!!...YOU AREN"T SHITTING ME RIGHT???...Someone's not filming me right? I'm not on TV right??? I'm not gonna be appearing on that God-Forsaken America's Funniest Home Video's or Candid Camera am I???"
"No silly...I had to plant some flowers around this tree for extra credit...what do you think???"
...'I think I just shit my pants'...
True Story...
jake...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!
So then, she's like..."let me take you to the cemetary"...I'm thinking...'WHAT THE FUCK???'...I'm a bit skeered at this point!!! I know she's FREAKKY but...'What the Fuck???!!!'...What could it all mean???
"I have an extra credit project there"...she said.
I'm like...'OH MY GAWD...this can't be it...this can't be my time...WHAT THE FUCK???'...Through her persuasive charms and HOTTT looks, I cave...I'M WEAK!!! I agree to go!!!
"It's actually not far from where we are right now"...she says.
'Oh Fuck...the end is near!!!' We drive...about 4 miles west...to an abandoned cemetary...in the middle of the woods!!! 'SHIT'...I'm sweatin' like a roasting pig!!!
"Can we go home???"...I say.
"Oh no...it'll be fun...I PROMISE!!!"
'Mmmhmmm...yeah sure!!!'
"Come on silly...I want to show you my project"
'OHMYGAWD...here it comes...this is it...she's gonna go Norman Bates on my azz and crush my skull in with the shovel she's got stashed in her trunk and then bury my azz six-feet under...SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE TO THE WORLD...I HAVE SO MANY GUYS TO LUST AFTER AND SLEEP WITH...IF I COULD JUST HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE I PROMISE TO BE A GOOD BOI'!!!
"Here it is hun."
"BACK THE FUCK UP BITCH!!!...I AINT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!...COME ON."
"What?...What are you talking about???...I want to show you the flowers I planted for extra credit...I had to do it to help beautify this run-down cemetary."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE???...WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, YOU CAME OUT HERE TO SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING FLOWERBED???...SHUTUP!!!...YOU AREN"T SHITTING ME RIGHT???...Someone's not filming me right? I'm not on TV right??? I'm not gonna be appearing on that God-Forsaken America's Funniest Home Video's or Candid Camera am I???"
"No silly...I had to plant some flowers around this tree for extra credit...what do you think???"
...'I think I just shit my pants'...
True Story...
jake...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!
posted by Alan at 9:58 PM
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