Sexy Northerner

I've got to have more parties where HOTTT guys come over and get drunk...they then fall under my spell and do whatever I tell them!!!

This Sexy Northerner was a bit camera shy...I think I captured a nice side though...wouldn't you agreee???

jakey...woooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Aspirations

I wanna be a star!!!
- Movie
- Rock
- Porn

jakey...woooooooooooossshhh!!!

Conversation

What follows is a conversation between myself and about 5 other friends. For all of you knuckleheads out there...start reading at the bottom and work your way up!!!

xxoo...Jakey...wooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

***THE END***
D - NOPE, I WON’T BE THERE.

Jake - You would all be under my spell…of course…my charm only works on the boys…so the girls would have to think of things to do for entertainment!!!

D - YOU ARE A FREAK! THAT WOULD BE A BIG NEGATIVE!
Jake - Yes you will…silly and you’ll lick my boots too!!!
D - NOPE. I WON’T BE THERE.

Jake - Yes…fine fine…but we will have HOTTT gay boys too…and D**** will be dressed like a Court Jester and will dance at my command…along with J*** and Da****!!!

Z - I’ll wear a Toga and mud wrestle w/4 girls.

Jake - Oooh yeah…forgot about those.
I’m also thinking TOGA and Mud Wrestling themed parties!!! Any other ideas???

P - And POP Rocks!
Z - Yeah, if there are chicks only.

Jake - So here’s what I’m thinking…we’ll play all POP music…we’ll have just soda POP. Buckets full of Tootsie POPS, Corn POPS…and have the floor covered in bubble wrap…for that POP POP POP sound!!! What do you think???...Anyone interested???

Jake - Hey Ya’ll…I’m thinking our next party theme…is going to be “POP”.
Z - Yeap that’s him Jake.

Jake - Hey Ya’ll…isn’t that the guy that doesn’t wash his hands after using the restroom…and he just delivered your food and condiments to ya…EWWW GROSS!!!

***Pizza Delivery by certain someone***

Jake – P****** likes the cinnamon ring!!!

P - I can’t even begin.
Dookey shoot, cinnamon ring, Thumpers Uniting.
I can almost see Jake the hypnotist directing a dazed crowd of males in some macabre sexual dance routine performed in a football locker room, complete with disco lighting and hardcore techno.
If I hadn’t asked to be included…I’d be crying about how violated I feel right now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go poke out my minds’ eye.

D - They have more holes!!!!
Z - No doubt.. I ONLY thump chicks Jake.. Big difference.
Jake - Come on Z…you’re a Thumper too!!! Thumpers UNITE!!!
Z - More gross you freak!!!

Jake - Only by watching the movies…no thumpin my cinnamon ring…I do the thumpin!!!

DA – Jake can name that tune in just 1 note!
D – Jake talks from experience!!

Jake - That’s gross…but yeah…they’ll use your dookey shot…over and over and over again…your cinnamon ring will be ringing!!!

DA - I like to call it my dukey shoot!
Jake – D***** has a cinnamon ring Ya’ll!!!
D - They’d thump your cinnamon ring!!
Jake - You’d have plenty of “VISITORS” in prison!!!

DA - If that was true and that happened to me yall would have to visit me in prison!

Jake - Maybe she’s really a guy…wouldn’t that be a special surprise for you and R*****…DA****

Z - Yeah she had definitely been lifting.
D - She was BEEFY!!
Z - That was the #$ that left him on 610(lol)

D - She is compared to what he used to have!! Remember that pic of him at surf shack??

Z - LMAO!!! He acts like she’s a Goddess or something.
D – R***** chokes everytime he tries to talk to her!!
Z – R***** is going to kill him behind that chick!
Jake – Da****’s got a CRUSHHH!!!

***A certain someone walks by***

Z - lmao

Jake - Are you kidding…that was his favourite place to be…that’s why he played sports!!!

DA - You never had to change in the LOOKER ROOM?
D - I played football and ran track. why

DA – D**** have you ever played any sports? Or you where just a band geek!

D - What the hell is a looker room??
DG - Just bring your own! You can be the life of the looker room!

Jake - Yeah…well I guess you could but there’s no club music…hottt lighting system or GO-GO dancers!!!

DG - Club Papi? Why don’t you just go and hang out in a men’s looker room?

***CLUB PAPI ADVERTISEMENT GIVEN TO THE GROUP FROM JAKE***

Z - LOL………………
JO - W h a t ??????????????? disgusting freak!!!!!

Jake - Yes and don’t forget he was caressing another boyzzz nipple!!! SWEET!!! Under my spell.

DA - If you read Jake’s blog he has picture of D**** on there in his boxers!

Jake - He was mesmerized by my snake charmer!!!
Z - Damn….
Jake – D**** was under my control…all night!!!
JO - What?????????????????????????????? freak!!!!!!
Z - LMAO!!!

DG - At least he doesn’t have pictures on the internet of himself wrestling in your under wear with other guys!

D - You’re a freak!!

Jake - I need some boyzzz…hey if anyone has any cute gay boyzzz that are single and want to HANG out, let me know.

JO - You were with the boyyzzzzz
Jake - Was it good???
S - That must have been a long star wars movie!

Z - Yeah. I got home @ 0600 so I need you freaks to keep me awake today!

Jake - Alright now…someone needs to get it started!!!

Male Call

I received my "fresh" June copy of

...I'll be checking out all the hot boyzzz...and reading the articles of course!!!

Love to all...jakey...woooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

London Calling...

I need a vacation!!!

It's sad, but...I haven't been anywhere since the summer of 2000. I went to Sydney and had the most Brilliant time while I was there for 14 days. If I had the opportunity to move there, I definitley would do it. That place rocked!!!

Some of you may or may not know that I am half British. All of my mother's family are originally from England. Sadly though, I have never been. I think it's time.

I have put the wheels in motion and have tentatively made plans with my Nan. She goes twice a year at least to visit her sister, sister-n-law and various relatives.

The whole country absolutely fascinates me. I love the accents, the culture, the customs. I want to visit London of course and all of the little villages.

I have about a week of vacation coming up sometime after August and hope...just hope...that I might be able to take a week or so and go. That would be Absolutely Fabulous!!!







jakey...wooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Boyfriend Update

Still looking!!! Still Single!!!

What is the secret for finding Mr. Right???

Jakey may never know...woooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Straight Boys Gone GAY...

This post may not last long...but I found these pictures, and the "Dark-Side" took over...I just had to do it!!!

We had a get-together here at our house a few weeks ago...just a few friends, some alcohol, and a copy of "Rocky Horror Picture Show". So the plans were to hang out, drink a bit and watch the movie.

The Strong Martini's were made and poured...here's what actually happened...
...the clothes came off piece by piece and the STRAIGHT boys became influenced by the "Dark-Side"!!!

The Boyzzz had a few too many and began a little bit of Nipple-Play...

...then The Boyzzz decided to play chase...

...one got caught...

...he struggled and struggled...

but just couldn't get away!!!

I love my straight BOYZZZ!!!

jakey...wooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Hairy Situation

I have made a MAJOR decision...one that could upset the balance of the whole universe...I'm going to grow my hair out again!!!

I used to have it long...back in the 90's when it was the "COOL THANG" to do.

I want to grow it out...but not into a "TIRED" style...something fresh and new...here are a few options I have been pondering...

The ever dapper...Mr. Rhodes...


Turning to the Dark-Side...Mr. Christensen...


"God"...Mr. Pitt...


Totally downcast...Mr. Gahan...


HMMM...I'll keep you posted on the progress!!!

jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Sunday Evening

Made some changes tonight...let me know what you think.

jakey...wooooooooooooossshhh!!!

This Ain't No Disco

So it seems that Rich's is open again!!!

Through the years this club has gone through many transformations...now it seems that it has risen from the ashes yet again.

Back in '89 I used to have the best time at this club!!!

My friends and I would head there on Thursday Nights when it was 18 and up. They would play Top 40 with a bit of 80's nostalgia...early Erasure, A-Ha, Duran Duran etc. It was very cool. Then they started mixing it up a bit by throwing in some disco. The Disco thing was ok at first but then they turned every Thursday into a Trash Disco Night...after a week or two of Trash Disco, I was trashed out. So I stopped going.

My best friend and I decided to start going on Saturday Nights. However, this proved to be more of a challenge...Saturdays were only 21 and older...NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!

So we headed off to the local Fake ID store and payed a pretty penny to become 21...it was SO worth it!!!

From that moment on, I was able to hang with the big boys. They were HOTTT!!! They were all dancing around without any shirts on...GAWH!!! It was like I had stepped into another universe...a totally HOTTT GAY universe.

There used to be some really HOTTT football twins that would frequent the club...it would have been great to date them.

I've been back periodically through the years and I've always had a good time. When I heard it closed about a year or so ago, I was a bit sad. I had some really good memories of that place.

I guess I'll have to check out the new and improved version and see what it's like...I wont hold my breath.

jakey...woooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

PS. FOR A GUARANTEED AWESOME NIGHT AT RICHS!!!

Take one of these

Add one of these

And one of these

Let the party begin!!!

Best Laid Plans

By 22:30 on Thursday the 19th, I was a WEE BIT stressed!!!

My last day off for the week was all planned...I was going to drop the children off at school and then stroll over to Cafe Jake for a nice breakfast and some good coffee and continue my journey with Inkheart...very good book by the way...and then relax for the rest of the day, topping it off with the Season Finale of "The Apprentice".

Little did I know...that's not the way things were going to be!!!

It seems we had several unexpected visitors arrive at our doorstep about 08:15. Amanda-Jayne's sister, Felicity, showed up with her three young children....apparently her carpet in her house was being ripped up and replaced and it was messing with her allergies so her and the children needed a place to hang out.

So ok, that's cool. My plans can wait for a bit...no worries!!!...No Worries!!!...No Worries!!!

Afternoon approaches...and I'm now worried.

Turns out I haven't done anything that I wanted to do...because I've been keeping children under the age of 5 entertained...EEGADS!!! I can also tell you that the decibel levels at times could well have shattered all the windows in the house, if sustained long enough!!!

So the day progressed...and I seriously thought about running away!!!...far away.

But I felt I could endure just a bit longer and then everything would be back to normal...until...the phone call came through, informing Felicity that her house would NOT be ready until the following morning!!!

"SHUT UP!!! Say it isn't so...This is a joke right???...There is going to be complete silence in just a few minutes...when you guys leave...right???...Please tell me I will be able to watch the Season Finale of "The Apprentice"...in peace!!! We're talking Season Finale here...the most critical of all episodes...I've been waiting since January to see who will be The Next Apprentice...there just can't be any interruptions!!! The Donald deserves my full attention...for the love of God and everything that is good...please say it's time for you to go home...pa-leeeze!!!"

...it was not meant to be...

My day of rest and relaxation became everything except what I had planned. My day of pampering became a day of changing pampers. I didn't get to read and I didn't relax.

As luck would have it, I was able to see the newly appointed Apprentice.

Way to go Kendra...you kicked AZZ!!!

So at 22:30, I was frazzled...I made my way out onto the back patio, sat down with a hot cup of tea and enjoyed the cool breeze...and popped one of these


jakey...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Ophelia And Her Garden

Once Upon A Time...

In a wonderful land of Make-Believe, there was a Beautiful Princess named Ophelia. She had such a wonderful life. She was loved by all. Her father and mother adored her and planted a beautiful garden when she was a child. As she grew through the years, her garden grew. She tended the flowers daily, watering them and talking to them giving them tender love.

Her garden grew and grew and grew...it became an enchanting place where Ophelia spent all her time.



One day a cordial young gentleman by the name of Dashel came along and admired Ophelia as she tended to her garden...he immediately fell in love with her. He introduced himself and they soon became friends and then lovers.

For the next few years they spent all of their time together, they loved each other and were devoted to one another...all the while, Ophelia's garden was neglected and all kinds of weeds and thorns grew and began choking her beautiful flowers, plants and trees.

As time passed Ophelia and Dashel began arguing and fighting and became bitter towards each other. They yelled and screamed at one another constantly. Their love soon grew cold and they no longer wanted to be together.

Ophelia forced Dashel to leave her palace.

Ophelia went back to her first love...her garden...she found it to be in shambles and a complete mess. It was all but dead. She soon began working again in the soil, pulling all the weeds and thorns...her garden felt her love and began responding to the tender loving care she gave.

All the while Dashel watched her in secret...he stood in the shadows and took notice of her every move. He began becoming jealous of the garden and hated the garden...he understood the deep love Ophelia had for her garden and he didn't like it...not one bit.

In the darkness of night, Dashel went to her garden and in a fit of rage, began cutting, chopping, shredding and demolishing the beautiful flowers, bushes, and trees until there was no more...everything was desolate.

Ophelia awoke the next morning to find her beautiful garden had been destroyed...she was heart-broken, crushed, vanquished.

She confronted Dashel who quickly denied it but she knew better. She knew he had destroyed her one true love, and she hated him for that.

She told him to leave her alone and to never return ever again.

She immediately began working on her garden again to try and revive it's listless life, but everytime the garden began responding to her love, Dashel would come and destroy it.

He came time and time again smothering the new love she gave to her garden. Ophelia became calloused and eventually stopped planting new flowers new bushes and new trees.

Her love had been spent...she had no more to give. She went to her bedroom to cry again but Dashel was there waiting for her...he starteled her and they began arguing and yelling and screaming...and in his rage, Dashel put his hands around her neck and choked the last breath out of her. She fell to the floor.

She was gone. Her garden was gone. Dashel remained.

Weekly Episode

Good Evening all you Homos...Just FYI:
This

Plus This...

Plus This...

Equals one BADAZZZ episode of this...


xxoo...jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Time Stand Still

Numbers was the very first alternative, dark, club that I went to. I was 18 when I first stepped inside and I immediately became hooked. I was blown away by the people, the atmosphere, the music...it became my haven for two years.

This was the first club that I went to where openly gay guys and gals kissed, hugged, held hands and had tons of fun with each other. It was always a mixed crowd so you could meet all kinds of people. You could always find your jocks, your queens, your goths, your closet-cases...all dancing together...very surreal!!!

It was always packed...good looking guys all over...some...not so good looking!!! The music played, was so ahead of it's time...some of the tunes I knew, a lot of the other tunes...I had never heard of...but they quickly became some of my favourites!!! I was there every weekend.

Then some things in my life changed and I didn't go back...but that's a different story!!!...

About two months ago some of my friends invited me to go with them when the club was having a "Classic Numbers" night. I jumped at the chance. I hadn't been in 15 years. I wanted to check it out and see if anything had changed.

When I stepped inside this time it was like I was immediately transported back to those two cherished years...such awesome emotions and memories flooded my head...it was exciting, weird, crazzzy, wild...all at the same time.

Everything was much the same...it's like time stood still inside of those four walls.

Thinking about it now, this club had such a huge impact on my life...it helped me look at myself and realize who I was, it helped me feel comfortable and helped me to feel accepted which was very important to a boy of 18.

I need to go back again and recapture some more of my youth!!!

jakey...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Attention!!! Attention!!!

MARK MY WORDS!!! I will NOT live like THIS!!!

How About This???...FUCK YOU!!!

...so here's just a teeny-tiny sample of the conversations going on at our house right now...Enjoy!!!...I know I did.

HOW ABOUT THIS… FUCK YOU!! I WAS BY NO MEANS SPYING ON ANYONE. I ACTUALLY FIND WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IN THERE QUITE AMUSING. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE CAFÉ JAKE IS!!! I MENTIONED TO HER ABOUT THE PICTURE THAT YOU POSTED ON THERE OF HER. I DIDN’T THINK THAT WAS APPROPRIATE AND I KNOW SHE WOULDN’T WANT THAT PARTICULAR PICTURE OF HER ON THE WEB. I’M NOT STALKING ANYONE!!

I NEVER SAID YOU WEREN’T PAYING THE BILLS. I SAID THAT OCCASIONALLY THAT I DIDN’T AGREE WITH THE BILLS THAT WERE PAID AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME. I’M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH YOU ABOUT WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. I JUST SAID THAT I WANTED TO BE INCLUDED IN THE BILL PAYING. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I AM JUST AS MUCH PART OF THAT HOUSEHOLD THAN ANYONE. JUST BECAUSE I DON’T LIVE THERE DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT PART OF IT STILL. UNTIL AMANDA-JAYNE AND I SIGN THOSE DIVORCE PAPERS I’M A PART OF IT.

I’M TIRED OF ALL THIS...ALL OF THIS IS GETTING SO OLD I’M TIRED OF IT.

YOU CAN BE PISSED AT ME ALL YOU WANT!

Pee Update...

Get this!!!

Today I was in the bathroom here at work when another guy walked up to the stall next to me...he was a bigger gentleman...I'M TALKING HEIGHT PEOPLE...he started peeing and..."Quel Suprise"...he had GIRLY pee...it wasn't MANLY at all...I laughed!!!

About an hour later, I had to go again, so I headed off for the stall and what do you know???...another guy already in mid stream...a GIRLY stream...YES!!! I am elated...this is Fabulous!!!

jakey...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Cafe Jake

I awoke to such a beautiful morning that I decided to head to Cafe Jake!!!

Now Cafe Jake is a quaint little cafe not very far from the house. It's got an intimate atmosphere...very private...very posh!!! No expense is spared to make you feel welcome and comfortable. The service is tip-top, there's no need to worry about being ignored you'll get all the one-on-one service you could desire. You can sit and view the beautiful scenery of trees and ivy covered walls...you may even catch a cardinal or two stopping by to say hello before flying off again!!!

I arrived and of course, there was a table ready and waiting with everything I needed to start my day off right...Coffee, OJ, Sausages...and my current read...INKHEART...GOOD BOOK BY THE WAY!!!...thanks for the recommendation Gracie.

After finishing up with breakfast I decided to head back to the house and go about my daily chores...one being sweeping the back patio. So, I got my "GAY" broom...out of the closet...that is!!!

This sweet little broom was given to me by a dear friend who purchased it without even knowing that it had any homosexual connotations whatsoever. It wasn't until he brought it home...that he noticed all the colors of the rainbow!!! HeeHee!!!

Everytime I use it, I think of him and the good times we had while he was here...AHHH...all the Martinis!!!

Jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Tea Anyone???

Wednesday...high noon...means tea time!!! It's very POSH!!!
In case you didn't know, I'm half british...I do claim that part of my heritage...the other side...not so much!!!

The Air Con is fixed...I'm in heaven...now all I need is a few man-servants to feed me grapes and wash my feet...mmm...delish!!!

TaTa for now...

jakey...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

I'm Melting...I'm Melting...

Today was the hottest day of the season so far...almost 90 degrees...yukkk!!! ...and here's the kicker...our air conditioner isn't blowing cold... I'm melting like a popsicle...oooey and gooey all over the place.

I think the freon has escaped the unit. I called my uncle and he's going to come over in the A.M. to get it up and running...the air conditioner unit that is!!!

I don't know if I can take much more of this...I feel like ripping off all my clothes and running NEKKKID through a rainstorm!!!

I think I'll be sleeping with my window open tonight...wink wink!!!

jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Pee Streams

My friends and I were having a conversation the other day...nothing really too specific, just random topics when suddenly I get up to use the restroom...do my business...come back, and Amanda-Jayne says..."You PEE like a girl!!!"

I'm like..."What??? What are you talking about?"

She then politely says..."YOU PEE LIKE A GIRL!!! Your pee stream...it doesn't sound MANLY...it sounds GIRLY."

I'm like..."WTF???!!! ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK OR WHAT??? Are you telling me that you listen at the door to hear what my pee stream sounds like?"

"Well no, but I have heard you and I have compared you with other guys...you sound more girly."

So I'm like..."HMMM...I never even noticed...that's weird...you're SICK!!!"

...Odd thing is, I HAVE listened to other guys pee while I've been in public restrooms AND even listened outside of closed bathroom doors to notice that some DO have a more MANLY pee streams.

Just what exactly makes one's pee stream more manly??? Is it the size of his penis...the physical exertion he puts forth...the urgency of the pee...or is it just a natural occurrence???...and is it something that can be learned???

Will I always be cursed with having a GIRLY pee stream??? I can definitely now add GIRLY PEE STREAM to the long list of my GIRLY qualities...yay for me.

Jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

TAKE THE PEE STREAM CHALLENGE...r u MANLY or GIRLY???

For Amanda-Jayne...

One tends to think they know their own family better than anyone else, and that they can call and rely on said family no matter what the situation!!! This was the case with Amanda-Jayne!!!

If anyone knows Amanda-Jayne, they probably have a good idea of just what she's been dealing with over the last year and a half. It's been some really serious SHIT!!! She's been through a lot. She has needed tons of support along the way with decisions that she has had to make. One of the decisions, that I encouraged her to make, was to get her father involved.

She originally balked at the idea, but I was persistent and insisted that he needed to know the extent and severity of the subject matter. So she conceded and made the phone call explaining from beginning to end.

He was quite shocked at it all and said..."Of course, I will help you in any way that I can." So she explained in detail what she would like to happen. He then in turn, went ahead and executed what she asked him to do.

Now at this point, once everything took place, the situation came to a lull. It had been that way up till this morning.

Amanda-Jayne was awakened this morning very early and forced...AGAIN...to deal with the same looming situation...which brought her to tears and hurt AGAIN!!!

Now, Amanda-Jayne is a really strong woman...mentally and emotionally, and she was holding her own, until her father suddenly got involved in the conversation!!! Once this happened everything went down-hill...FAST!!!

At this point, she was totally blind-sided by her dad and his response...she had been betrayed by his actions and ultimately crushed. He in fact, did not back her up and went the completely opposite direction. This caused a major melt-down and from that moment on she was a river of tears.

She tried getting some clarification as to why he reacted the way he did, he responded by hanging up the phone on her not once, but twice. She was LIVID!!! She didn't know how to respond to this, other than ball her eyes out. It truly hurt seeing her this way and there was only so much that I could say and do...

As I write this now, all I want to do is hold her and comfort her...she has been through SO much!!! She remains a pillar in my life...we have been through A LOT together. She is my soul-mate until the end. I love her dearly and always will...this is for her!!! XXOO...jakey

How Do I Love Thee?
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Watch out 6th Grade...here she comes...

I'm ecstatic!!!

I just received a phone call from my "almost 11-year old daughter". She was chosen to be on the Student Council to represent her 6th grade peers this coming Fall-Spring session of Middle School.

Grace has been talking about going to middle school since the beginning of this 5th grade school year...she kept telling me she couldn't wait another year to get there. Now that's enthusiasm!!!

In order to run for a position such as this, all willing 5th grade participants had to create a poster, and prepare a speech. They would be giving their presentations in front of their peers then voting for their favourite candidate. There was a total of only THREE positions available and more than 41 candidates were running. So when it came down to it the odds were stacked up against her.

Now, if anyone knows us, they know that this kind of stuff is our forte!!! Amanda-Jayne immediately sat down with Grace and started helping her prepare "the speech of all speeches." They did some brain-storming and finally decided on presenting a comedic spiel.

Basically the whole jist of it centered around the fact that...Grace watches SO much television...which she does...that we, her parents, were making her get involved so that she would occupy her life with activites that were a bit more challenging and rewarding!!! They hammered out the one-minute speech in about 30 minutes and Grace immediately began memorizing it. The speech had her requesting her peers votes while at the same time throwing out commercial slogans. It was very funny and once she had it down, she delivered it well.

I was in charge of helping her with her poster...we first got to work on her photo shoot, I snapped a lot of pictures, because I wanted more than one to choose from. Then we sat down and started drawing and coloring all the bubble letters...YAY for bubble letters!!!...then glued the pictures down and topped it all off with tons and tons of glitter...ah glitter...a girls best friend!!!

So today she dressed in a really cute skirt and top, I fixed her hair in a "proper bun" and dropped her off at school and wished her well.

She called me this afternoon and told me she would be giving her speech approximately at 13:15 and wanted us to be there. Unfortunately I would be at work and Amanda-Jayne was going to be at a doctors appointment. I wished her the best of luck and told her to knock 'em dead.

So 15:45 I get a phone call here at work, she's squealing on the other end..."Daddy guess what???...I WON!!!"

OH MY GOD...you could not imagine the joy that I felt at that moment I was SO excited for her...she really wanted this and both Amanda-Jayne and I wanted this for her.

In the end after all was said and done, her hard work, zeal, charm, beauty and wit paid off as she heard her name called across the loud speaker...she was one of three winning representatives for Student Council.

Amanda-Jayne and I are SO PROUD!!! We'll probably have a good cry together when I get home tonight!!!

jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Thursday Night

Tonight, I'll be watching him...

He's HOTTT!!! I want to be him!!!


...and then, I'll be watching her...

SHE'S HOTTT!!! I want to be her!!!

Jakey...wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

WHAT THE F*@!???

MS. Amanda-Jayne and I spent some de-lovely time together today. We went for lunch at a quaint Chinese restaurant and then went for a bit of caffeine at the coffee-shop...FUN HAD BY ALL!!!

So then, she's like..."let me take you to the cemetary"...I'm thinking...'WHAT THE FUCK???'...I'm a bit skeered at this point!!! I know she's FREAKKY but...'What the Fuck???!!!'...What could it all mean???

"I have an extra credit project there"...she said.

I'm like...'OH MY GAWD...this can't be it...this can't be my time...WHAT THE FUCK???'...Through her persuasive charms and HOTTT looks, I cave...I'M WEAK!!! I agree to go!!!

"It's actually not far from where we are right now"...she says.

'Oh Fuck...the end is near!!!' We drive...about 4 miles west...to an abandoned cemetary...in the middle of the woods!!! 'SHIT'...I'm sweatin' like a roasting pig!!!

"Can we go home???"...I say.

"Oh no...it'll be fun...I PROMISE!!!"

'Mmmhmmm...yeah sure!!!'

"Come on silly...I want to show you my project"

'OHMYGAWD...here it comes...this is it...she's gonna go Norman Bates on my azz and crush my skull in with the shovel she's got stashed in her trunk and then bury my azz six-feet under...SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE TO THE WORLD...I HAVE SO MANY GUYS TO LUST AFTER AND SLEEP WITH...IF I COULD JUST HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE I PROMISE TO BE A GOOD BOI'!!!

"Here it is hun."

"BACK THE FUCK UP BITCH!!!...I AINT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!...COME ON."

"What?...What are you talking about???...I want to show you the flowers I planted for extra credit...I had to do it to help beautify this run-down cemetary."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE???...WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, YOU CAME OUT HERE TO SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING FLOWERBED???...SHUTUP!!!...YOU AREN"T SHITTING ME RIGHT???...Someone's not filming me right? I'm not on TV right??? I'm not gonna be appearing on that God-Forsaken America's Funniest Home Video's or Candid Camera am I???"

"No silly...I had to plant some flowers around this tree for extra credit...what do you think???"

...'I think I just shit my pants'...

True Story...

jake...woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossshhh!!!

Mammaseeta!!!

I found some more pics of "Truly Obnoxious"...oops I meant "Truly Scrumptious"...check her out...she's a force to be reckoned with!!!

Final Chapter

So in the continuous Saga of Mr. X, I give you the final chapter...

I called him again yesterday...he said he was on the other line...MMMHMMM sure!!!...and that he would call me right back...YEAH!!!...I've heard that before...so I said "ok, I'll talk to you soon". Well...I knew then and there that this make-believe-love-affair had gone to the crapper!!!

Its been approximately three weeks since this tumultuous non-existent relationship started. The Boiii has not called, has not written has not showed any interest whatsoever, other than our initial meeting!!! I've always had to make the first move. It's a shame that it never got off the ground...I had high hopes about this one. I had planned on falling in love and having hottt sexxx.

I guess I should just skip the falling love and have some hottt sexxx!!!...now that's a GREAT IDEA!!!...anyone interested??? HMMM???

XXOO...Jakey-poo...woooooooooooooooooooooooooshhh!!!